If you eat a cluster of moist oysters you may need an ointment.

Why Do We Hate Some Words?

Yeah, I’m looking at you, “moist.”

People hate the word “moist” with a visceral fury. BuzzFeed did a feature on it. As did Mental Floss. And MotherBoard. And even The Oatmeal.

Apparently if you hate the word “moist” you are prudish and queased out by bodily fluids in general.

“You go, girl.”

Some people think it’s the “oi” sound they hate, the same vowel combination that’s in “oysters,” “moisture,” and “ointment.” I have a friend whose last name is Moisture and when she introduces herself she actually adds “sorry” afterward.

While I don’t have a problem with “moist” (try not to overanalyze me), I do have a problem with these words.

Synergy, Intuitive, Data-Point

When I first entered the corporate world, I thought business jargon was mildly annoying, possibly even chuckle-worthy. Twenty years later, Dilbert isn’t funny. Neither are TLAs (three-letter acronyms) or verbing your nouns.

Angry business woman
“You’ve angered the English major and now you shall pay.”

These words cause the irreversible erosion of my soul. Can you “get your arms around that” without me having to give you the “ten thousand foot view”?

Bruh, Dank, On Fleek

By the time I click the “Publish” button on this blog post, there will be a whole new crop of these words, which I sometimes call Dude Speak. Funny at first, these words get tired faster than…well, me, of them.

“S’up? …Not your I.Q., my friend.”

Please, for the love of God, just stop. Or should I say, “stahp,” because I “can’t even.”

Breweries & Rural Jurors

These unpronounceable words are just plain mean.

Drunk sad guy
“I wanted to meet them at the brewerrr…brewy…”

The more you hang out in a brewery, the less you’re able to say it.

And no disrespect intended toward country folk, but the word combo of “rural jurors” seems to poke fun at people who might have the most trouble pronouncing it.

Honey Boo Boo's Mom
“We jus’ a coupla rool jurrs, doin’ our part for ‘Murica.”

Whoever made these words ought to be taken out back and horsewhipped, preferably by a colonel…from the sixth isthmus south of Worcestershire…while serenaded by a choir of squirrels.

What words do you hate?

I’m all about words. See some in my books.

12 thoughts on “If you eat a cluster of moist oysters you may need an ointment.

  1. ‘Moist’ really doesn’t bother me, but I’m with you on the rest. Believe it or not, Worcestershire is one I don’t like, mostly because I still can’t pronounce it, and I’ve been trying for almost forty years. For some reason, though, ‘chair’ bugs me. Don’t know why.

    1. Chair? That’s a new one for this list. 🙂

      Now that I’ve said it 20 times in a row, it’s sounding very strange.

  2. Any of the “oi” words. I am from the deep south and we don’t pronounce them the same way as people in other parts of the country and every time I hear “moist” I cringe.
    Also pus, and bae.

    1. Haha. Definitely agree about those two words. Someone just messaged me that they dislike “slacks” and “trousers” also.

  3. I never thought much about the word, moist, until my editor told me to take it out of my manuscript, because she hated the word and if I left it in, it would offend a lot of readers.

  4. As a former tech writer, my pet peeve was when engineers used the word ‘holistic’ to describe software or an electronic component. They ruined the word for me entirely.

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