Waaaaah! I’m in Twitter Jail.

I’ve been thrown into Twitter jail with no ability to tweet or retweet. Apparently this is like being a prisoner of Azkaban in Harry Potter. You can flail your arms and scream all you want, but no one can hear you.

Me (@meilaan)

Granted, I’ve been known to complain about Twitter now and then. But as it turns out, since my account has been suspended, I miss it.

Why is my account locked?

The simple answer is, I don’t know. I haven’t changed my retweeting/tweeting pattern in the last few months. I don’t tweet anything nasty, like politics, porn, or hate. Dude, I’m just a book lover, not a fighter.

But a locked account shouldn’t be a problem, right? I’ll just contact Twitter customer service and get this problem cleared up in no time.

Wait…Twitter doesn’t have actual people on the other end of their help messages?

Bah! Minor setback.

I’ll search online for the answer. Random security problem? I haven’t been hacked. Spam problem? I’m a real person, not a bot. I don’t even hashtag all that often. (Sorry for verbing.)

magnolia grange044
“I served 18-to-life navigating your useless online help system, Twitter.”

How do I fix it?

Okay. Fine. Whatever. I’m suspended from the Tweeting game. I’ll go sit in the penalty box, whether earned or not. I don’t care. Just tell me how to fix it.

Fellow internet denizens tell me to change my password. Done. Turn off any automation (like Roundteam or Crowdfire or whatever). Done.

Now what?

Crickets Ave.
“Helllllllooo? Is anyone out there?”

What happens next?

Now I wait.

Tally marks on a prison wall.
“This can’t take too long, right? I mean, it’s not like my business and sales depend on it, right?”

And what if my ability to Tweet is never restored?

Will I never be free again?

On the other hand, maybe it’s a good thing.

Rude tweet

Thanks for listening. Many heartfelt thanks if you tweet this post…because I can’t.


6 thoughts on “Waaaaah! I’m in Twitter Jail.

    1. Nothing specific. Just general “please change your password” notices.

      You know what would be neat?…if your profile pic actually got bars over it just so other Tweeters would know you’re in the doghouse and not ignoring them.

  1. I’ve been in Facebook jail. I used the same post once too often. . . I think. No one ever answered my pleas for help, but I was in and out in a day. No official reason. No apology. I feel like an ex-con. But with no official record. And I love your idea of bars over the face. At least that would be something.

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