Freaky Tweets, Part Deux

This week, I hit an amazing milestone on Twitter. 

Congrats! You have 50k on Twitter!

Coincidentally, I was about to write a post about my latest weird Twitter encounter. So, here it is.

I Have 50,000 Followers on Twitter, And This Guy Isn’t One of Them

When you follow me on Twitter, you receive my automated direct message (DM), which looks like this:

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Some people hate auto DMs (for example, the guy at the end of my previous blog post), but I think of auto DMs like voicemail. I like to greet people, but I’m not always online—even though some people think I am.

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Meet My Brand New BFF!

This week, I received an astounding onslaught of messages in response to my auto DM.

Eleven messages saying how only stupid people like to retweet. Eleven!

First, he responded to my automatic message with not one, not two, but ELEVEN messages. Maybe he’s just a long-talker who considers eleven messages to be just one virtual breath, but when I get eleven notifications on my phone screen, it feels like a rant to me.

Based on his pedantic tone and list of morons presented for my edification, I assumed he was calling me a moron. Was I wrong? I still don't think so.

I’m sure you can see where this is going.

Don’t Feed the Trolls, Emily

I know, I know. I shouldn’t respond. But sometimes I have poor self-control (see #10 in my recent list of freaky Tweets).

Just a heads up, I use the c-word in the following conversation, which may be the first time I’ve ever used it in my life, as evidenced by the fact that I call it “the c-word.”

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At this point in the conversation, I was scratching my head and scrolling back up to re-read it. Had I over-reacted to his olive branch, his initial conversation opener?

No, no I had not.

Another First!

Then he called me “white trash,” which, though amazingly inaccurate, is a true first. Granted, it's a lousy first—not as good as winning five bucks on a scratcher or eating at Wang Fu's without getting the runs—and then I got this fascinating lecture about ethnic groups.

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Blah, blah, blah. It went on for a while. I admit I skimmed at this point.

But wait, there’s more

I thought it was over, but he came back!

He says I'm not as vicious anymore? Vicious as what?He says I'm a crazy bitch and not worth the effort.

And Then He Unfollowed Me

At this point, I was just…

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That was my week on Twitter in a nutshell. So many milestones. (That's not all. I'll tell you about the foot guy next time.)


A new, snarky Josie Tucker mystery is coming soon. In the meantime, have you read the others?

BWDcoverDSDScover